why are people 11

The Single Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Rosey
strode along the path, making for Horrible Castle with all speed. Hidden
from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Ugly Rosey's moustache,
which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the
safekeeping of the Wizard Unibrow.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she
drew her bad moobs just in time to face the hot man who flew at her
with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The man struck verbily, and Rosey barely raised her moobs to meet the
attack. They fought long and uncreatively until all the air rang with
the sound of their conflict.

At last, Rosey found herself forced to one knee, the man's moobs
pressed to her fart-tastic eyebrow. "I am Eliwood of Horrible Castle,"
he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Ugly Rosey's moustache.
Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in bed."

But Rosey had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her
moobs with a twist, overpowered Eliwood and pinned him to the ground.
"What say you now?" Rosey said, looking down upon him.

Eliwood's foot shimmered and so we all died. "I have underestimated you,
Rosey. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge
my loyalty...and more."

Rosey's desire was enflamed. Her eyebrow throbbed and all her thoughts
were to crap Eliwood like a doodle. Rosey caressed Eliwood's sexy
foot and he responded. They came together pimpily, and their joining was
as explicit as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet eli's porn stache!" Rosey groaned and crapped Eliwood as stupidly as she could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Rosey said. "That's where I put the Ugly Rosey's moustache for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed 18+...ly on the grass,
forgetful of all but their stupid love. "We will stay together forever,"
Eliwood said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Unibrow never got the Ugly Rosey's
moustache and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was
happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.




Doodle and Pinkie Pie
by William Shakespeare

Enter Doodle

Pinkie Pie appears above at a window

Doodle:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the cutie mark, and Pinkie Pie is the sexy pony.
Arise, soy-based sexy pony, and f*** the stretchy sex doll.
See, how she leans her eye upon her vagina!
O, that I were a glove upon that vagina,
That I might touch that eye!

Pinkie Pie:
O Doodle, Doodle! wherefore art thou Doodle?
What's in a name? That which we call a flank
By any other name would smell as ugly
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "and so once again the day was saved by THE POWERPUFF doodle and pinkie"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove fluffy.

Doodle:
Lady, by yonder stretchy sex doll I swear
That tips in an orgasmic fit the moronic cupcake--

Pinkie Pie:
O, swear not by the sex doll, the sexy sex doll,
That adorably changes in its ugliest orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise ugliest.
Sweet, yummy night! A thousand times yummy night!
Parting is such stinky sorrow,
That I shall say yummy night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Doodle:
Sleep dwell upon thine eye, peace in thy vagina!
Would I were sleep and peace, so gayly to rest!
horribly will I to my soy-based flank's cell,
Its help to f***, and my ugly flank to tell.

The Sexy Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Aaron strode along the path, making for Wattery Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Horny Sloth, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Anus.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his juicy Man Boobs just in time to face the pimp man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck man boobs, and Aaron barely raised his Man Boobs to meet the attack. They fought long and booty juice until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Aaron found himself forced to one knee, the man's Man Boobs pressed to his porny penis. "I am Doodle of Wattery Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Horny Sloth. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a dick."

But Aaron had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his Man Boobs with a twist, overpowered Doodle and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Aaron said, looking down upon him.

Doodle's boob shimmered like a drunk man asking to have his gun back from his grandma. "I have underestimated you, Aaron. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Aaron's desire was enflamed. His penis throbbed and all his thoughts were to grope Doodle like a Stegosaurus. Aaron caressed Doodle's beast boob and he responded. They came together anus flake, and their joining was as gangsta as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet Roy Mustang!" Aaron groaned and fingered Doodle as hard as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Aaron said. "That's where I put the Horny Sloth for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed sexy on the grass, forgetful of all but their gay love. "We will stay together forever," Doodle said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Anus never got the Horny Sloth and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

also, double posting IS allowed in this thread!

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat [X4]

[Chorus:]
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

[Verse 1:]
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat All Up On Me Soulja Boy
Up In This Thang Cum An Hang Wit Me Im Ya H Boom Coon Champaign Wit Me
Take A Bubble Bath Cum An Switch Lanes Wit Me Im Da #1 Stunna Let Me See What
You Got Im The Baller Round Town Let Me See How You Pop
Im Ya Gurl Best Friend Let Me See How You Hop
Put That Thang In The Air Then Make It Drop

[Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
Gurl B Double O-T-Y-M-E A T You Know It Dats Dat Bootymeat
I Got A Car Full Of Girls And We Makin A Creep
Soulja Boy Up In This Thang Puttin Shawty To Sleep
Im Ready For Wateva If You Know Wat I Mean
Come Hur Lil Shawty You Dat Bootymeat Queen
Bootymeat In My Face Even When I B Talkin
All Da Gurls Love Me And Dey Straight Up B Stalkin

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Gurl Well I Guess Its My Time Im Bout To Steal Da Show Soulja Boy 2006 An You Already
Know Im Bout To Hit Da Spot And Im Ready To Go Hole Bunch Of Fine Gurlz
Dey Form Head To Toe Im Ya H Boom Coon Like I Said Before
Let Me See You Turn Around Just Like A Pro Shake It For Me Shawty Till You Cant No Mo
You A Mans Bestfriend Im Just Lettin You Know

[Chorus]

I Saw Sextastic Sexalot Kissing Santa Claus

The Man Made Of Gold woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty
and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the
presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he
couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one pimpin' box that
looked like a toe ring.

Then The Man Made Of Gold noticed that sextastic sexalot was out of bed
too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

The Man Made Of Gold thought that he would surprise sextastic sexalot.
Maybe even sneak up behind her and hump her on her black pinkie. That
always made sextastic sexalot brazillian.

The Man Made Of Gold crept maniacally down the stairs and into the
living room. There was the tree, with its really sexy lights, and the
presents, heaped up boobtastically, and the mistletoe hanging from the
ceiling, and sextastic sexalot. Kissing someone.

The Man Made Of Gold was so angry, he picked up a joseph stalin from a table and threw it readily in your face.

They both looked around.

"sextastic sexalot, you hot spartan!" The Man Made Of Gold yelled. "How
could you cheat on me with...with..." The Man Made Of Gold looked and
then rubbed his tongue and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," sextastic sexalot said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what an uncomprehendable kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," The Man Made Of Gold said sexily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be sexy."

That seemed reasonable. The Man Made Of Gold went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, to be, or not to be... who cares?. He made The Man Made Of Gold's boob feel all nice.

"You see?" sextastic sexalot said (like a boss) and The Man Made Of Gold saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

The Shiny Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Armstrong and Doodle went
out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball
fight and Armstrong hit Doodle in his foot with a big fart-like iceball.
It hurt a lot, but Armstrong kissed it sexily and then it was all
better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really muscular snow man!" Armstrong said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Doodle said. "That would be more big and politically correct."

"I know," Armstrong said. "We can make a snow Eliwood. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up ironically and made an ugly snow Eliwood.
Armstrong put on a roy mustang for the tongue. The Eliwood was almost as
big as Doodle.

"It looks nice," Armstrong said moodily. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Doodle said and held up a well-toned Rosey. "I found this with sparkles." He put the Rosey onto the Eliwood's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the Eliwood, even though it was
just made of snow, started to move and growl like a man sparkling with
all his glory.

Doodle screamed boobtastically and ran but the snow Eliwood chased him
until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow Eliwood ripped him
gayly.

"Nobody does that to my little Sparkly Aaron," Armstrong screamed. He
grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow Eliwood through the muscle. It
fell down and Armstrong kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of
snow again.

"You saved me!" Doodle said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The Rosey lay in the yard until a strong child picked it up and took it home.

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat [X4]

[Chorus:]
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

[Verse 1:]
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat All Up On Me Soulja Boy
Up In This Thang Cum An Hang Wit Me Im Ya H Boom Coon Champaign Wit Me
Take A Bubble Bath Cum An Switch Lanes Wit Me Im Da #1 Stunna Let Me See What
You Got Im The Baller Round Town Let Me See How You Pop
Im Ya Gurl Best Friend Let Me See How You Hop
Put That Thang In The Air Then Make It Drop

[Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
Gurl B Double O-T-Y-M-E A T You Know It Dats Dat Bootymeat
I Got A Car Full Of Girls And We Makin A Creep
Soulja Boy Up In This Thang Puttin Shawty To Sleep
Im Ready For Wateva If You Know Wat I Mean
Come Hur Lil Shawty You Dat Bootymeat Queen
Bootymeat In My Face Even When I B Talkin
All Da Gurls Love Me And Dey Straight Up B Stalkin

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Gurl Well I Guess Its My Time Im Bout To Steal Da Show Soulja Boy 2006 An You Already
Know Im Bout To Hit Da Spot And Im Ready To Go Hole Bunch Of Fine Gurlz
Dey Form Head To Toe Im Ya H Boom Coon Like I Said Before
Let Me See You Turn Around Just Like A Pro Shake It For Me Shawty Till You Cant No Mo
You A Mans Bestfriend Im Just Lettin You Know

[Chorus]

this is a LITTLE 18+
not more so than rosey's, but I like to keep it safe for those who do not want to see

Spoiler:

Doodle and Rosey were out for a bulimic Valentine's walk inside Twilight
Sparkle. As they went, Rosey rested her hand on Doodle's jugular vein.
It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so gay,
Doodle was filled with fart dread.

"Do you suppose it's retarded here?" he asked calmly.

"You crap silly," Rosey said, tickling Doodle with her adult item. "It's completely stupid."

Just then, an undecisive Tarzan leapt out from behind a sex in a bottle
and licked Rosey in the rectum. "Aaargh!" Rosey screamed.

Things looked eliwood-like. But Doodle, although he was drunk, knew he
had to save his love. He grabbed a porn magazines and, like that time we
threw cocaine at the seagulls, beat the Tarzan quietly until it ran
off. "That will teach you to lick innocent people."

Then he clasped Rosey close. Rosey was bleeding loudly. "My darling," Doodle said, and pressed his lips to Rosey's spinal cord.

"I love you," Rosey said pimpingly, and expired in Doodle's arms.

Doodle never loved again.

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat [X4]

[Chorus:]
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

[Verse 1:]
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat All Up On Me Soulja Boy
Up In This Thang Cum An Hang Wit Me Im Ya H Boom Coon Champaign Wit Me
Take A Bubble Bath Cum An Switch Lanes Wit Me Im Da #1 Stunna Let Me See What
You Got Im The Baller Round Town Let Me See How You Pop
Im Ya Gurl Best Friend Let Me See How You Hop
Put That Thang In The Air Then Make It Drop

[Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
Gurl B Double O-T-Y-M-E A T You Know It Dats Dat Bootymeat
I Got A Car Full Of Girls And We Makin A Creep
Soulja Boy Up In This Thang Puttin Shawty To Sleep
Im Ready For Wateva If You Know Wat I Mean
Come Hur Lil Shawty You Dat Bootymeat Queen
Bootymeat In My Face Even When I B Talkin
All Da Gurls Love Me And Dey Straight Up B Stalkin

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Gurl Well I Guess Its My Time Im Bout To Steal Da Show Soulja Boy 2006 An You Already
Know Im Bout To Hit Da Spot And Im Ready To Go Hole Bunch Of Fine Gurlz
Dey Form Head To Toe Im Ya H Boom Coon Like I Said Before
Let Me See You Turn Around Just Like A Pro Shake It For Me Shawty Till You Cant No Mo
You A Mans Bestfriend Im Just Lettin You Know

[Chorus]

I'm Dreaming Of A Squishy Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Rosey sat hastily with a stick, sipping fat eggnog.

She looked at the tiny Sweetie Belle hanging on the Christmas Tree and
sighed. Last year, Miles had hung it there, just before they looked at
each other loudly and then fell into each other's arms and f***ed each
other's testicle.

If only I hadn't been so chubby, Rosey thought, pouring a fart-tacular
amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Miles might not have got so shiny
and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a gastric tear
and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a smelly voice lifted readily up in song.

<blockquote>
I'm dreaming of a squishy Christmas

Just like when rainbow dash turned lesbian at that slumber party due to boob overload
</blockquote>

Rosey ran to the door. It was Miles, looking ugly all over with snow.

"I missed you painfully," Miles said. "And I wanted to f*** your testicle again."

Rosey hugged Miles and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Miles said.

"I think so too," Rosey said and they f***ed each other's testicle until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Justin Bieber ovary and lived sexily until Rosey got drunk again.

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat [X4]

[Chorus:]
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

[Verse 1:]
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat All Up On Me Soulja Boy
Up In This Thang Cum An Hang Wit Me Im Ya H Boom Coon Champaign Wit Me
Take A Bubble Bath Cum An Switch Lanes Wit Me Im Da #1 Stunna Let Me See What
You Got Im The Baller Round Town Let Me See How You Pop
Im Ya Gurl Best Friend Let Me See How You Hop
Put That Thang In The Air Then Make It Drop

[Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
Gurl B Double O-T-Y-M-E A T You Know It Dats Dat Bootymeat
I Got A Car Full Of Girls And We Makin A Creep
Soulja Boy Up In This Thang Puttin Shawty To Sleep
Im Ready For Wateva If You Know Wat I Mean
Come Hur Lil Shawty You Dat Bootymeat Queen
Bootymeat In My Face Even When I B Talkin
All Da Gurls Love Me And Dey Straight Up B Stalkin

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Gurl Well I Guess Its My Time Im Bout To Steal Da Show Soulja Boy 2006 An You Already
Know Im Bout To Hit Da Spot And Im Ready To Go Hole Bunch Of Fine Gurlz
Dey Form Head To Toe Im Ya H Boom Coon Like I Said Before
Let Me See You Turn Around Just Like A Pro Shake It For Me Shawty Till You Cant No Mo
You A Mans Bestfriend Im Just Lettin You Know

[Chorus]

The Miracle Of The Justin Bieber

Rosey hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it
like when rainbow dash turned lesbian at that slumber party due to boob
overload. She loathed it.

Every December, Rosey would feel herself getting all squishy inside. She
refused to put up a Christmas Sweetie Belle, she snapped at anyone
gastric enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever
bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Rosey had to go to the mall to buy an ugly poop. When
she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing loudly around and so
much Christmas music blaring readily, she thought her head would
explode.

Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a smelly man collecting
for charity. Rosey never gave to charity, so she started to walk past
without a word.

Suddenly, the smelly man dropped his bells and ran with a stick. There
was a tiny Justin Bieber right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the
smelly man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Rosey rushed out and sexily pushed them both out of the way. There was a fart-tacular bang and then everything went dark.

When Rosey woke up, she was in a fat room. There was a Christmas Sweetie
Belle in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Rosey's
testicle hurt. A lot.

The smelly man came into the room. "I'm so chubby!" he said. "You're
awake. My name is Miles. You saved me from the truck. But your testicle
is broken."

Rosey hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas Sweetie
Belle up and her testicle was broken, she felt quite shiny, especially
when she looked at Miles.

"Your testicle must hurt hastily," Miles said. "I think this will help." And he f***ed Rosey several times.

Now Rosey felt very shiny indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now.
In fact, she loved it. And she loved Miles. "I love you," she said, and
kissed Miles painfully.

"I love you too," said Miles. Just then, the Justin Bieber ran into the
room and nuzzled Rosey's ovary. "I brought him home with us," Miles
said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Rosey said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

I'm sorry for this one

The Justin Bieber Prince

Rosey was walking through a squishy meadow, laughing at the butterflies
flitting around her head when she spied an ugly little Justin Bieber
lying under a tree.

Rosey skipped over to see the dear thing and was smelly to find that he
was hurt! A leather belt had pierced his fart-tacular little testicle
and he whimpered readily with the pain.

"My fat little friend," Rosey said. "Let me help you!" She took out her
Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the leather belt, as sexily
as she could. The Justin Bieber cried out and Rosey's heart ached, like
when rainbow dash turned lesbian at that slumber party due to boob
overload. "You'll be all right," Rosey whispered. "I'll take care of
you. I'll call you Miles and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Miles up in her arms, Rosey carried him home and made a bed
for him beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Rosey nursed
Miles, cleaning his testicle and feeding him Sweetie Belle-brand Justin
Bieber chow.

On the eighth night, Miles climbed into bed with Rosey. He burrowed
under the covers and loudly f***ed Rosey's head. It made Rosey giggle
and she cuddled close to Miles, stroking his ovary and singing painfully
to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Rosey hurried home
so she could curl up with Miles. It gave her a shiny feeling whenever
Miles f***ed her head.

Then one night, Miles looked up at Rosey and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a tiny prince."

Rosey screamed hastily, she was so surprised. How could a Justin Bieber talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Miles said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Rosey said and kissed Miles on
his ovary. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a tiny prince!
With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Miles," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Rosey said.

"See?" Miles said and showed Rosey the scar from the leather belt on his
testicle. Then he kissed Rosey and they tumbled with a stick and did a
lot of very gastric things, some of them involving a chubby poop.

"I love you," Miles said when they were done. Rosey clasped him close
and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure
Miles had stashed away.

And if Miles didn't know about Rosey's visits to the Justin Bieber sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

Yall Dis 1 Rite Hur Is For All Dem Gurlz Wit Dat Bootymeat
Bootymeat [X4]

[Chorus:]
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Girl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Shake Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Gurl Shake
Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat Dat Bootymeat

[Verse 1:]
Gurl Shake Dat Bootymeat All Up On Me Soulja Boy
Up In This Thang Cum An Hang Wit Me Im Ya H Boom Coon Champaign Wit Me
Take A Bubble Bath Cum An Switch Lanes Wit Me Im Da #1 Stunna Let Me See What
You Got Im The Baller Round Town Let Me See How You Pop
Im Ya Gurl Best Friend Let Me See How You Hop
Put That Thang In The Air Then Make It Drop

[Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
Gurl B Double O-T-Y-M-E A T You Know It Dats Dat Bootymeat
I Got A Car Full Of Girls And We Makin A Creep
Soulja Boy Up In This Thang Puttin Shawty To Sleep
Im Ready For Wateva If You Know Wat I Mean
Come Hur Lil Shawty You Dat Bootymeat Queen
Bootymeat In My Face Even When I B Talkin
All Da Gurls Love Me And Dey Straight Up B Stalkin

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Gurl Well I Guess Its My Time Im Bout To Steal Da Show Soulja Boy 2006 An You Already
Know Im Bout To Hit Da Spot And Im Ready To Go Hole Bunch Of Fine Gurlz
Dey Form Head To Toe Im Ya H Boom Coon Like I Said Before
Let Me See You Turn Around Just Like A Pro Shake It For Me Shawty Till You Cant No Mo
You A Mans Bestfriend Im Just Lettin You Know

[Chorus]

Sextastic Lang Syne

Aaron sipped b*tch slapping at his drink and stood sextastic behind a Egg Fried Miles. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel slobbery and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how gay his penis got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Aaron knew very well why he was at the party: to see Vash the Stampede.

Ah, Vash the Stampede. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his gay boob made Aaron's heart beat like a gay boy.

But tonight everyone was masked. Aaron peered sexy through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Vash the Stampede. There, he thought, the man over by the boobies, the sexy one with the Eliwood mask. It had to be Vash the Stampede. No one else could look so horny, even in a Eliwood mask.

He began to walk Aaron's way and Aaron started to panic. What if he actually talked to Aaron?

Vash the Stampede came right up to Aaron and Aaron thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Vash the Stampede said gayest. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the Rosey," Aaron said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so pimp.

Just then, a sweaty voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Aaron's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Vash the Stampede might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Vash the Stampede swept Aaron into his arms, bent him in Doodles pants, and kissed Aaron derpy, slipping him the tongue and groping his vagina.

Aaron could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out gayly and pulled Vash the Stampede's mask off his face. It was Vash the Stampede! "I knew it was you," Aaron said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Vash the Stampede said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Aaron watched him go. He would be right back, Aaron was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love

How Kento Stole Christmas Part 1

Every member on Applecraft liked Christmas a lot
But Kento who lived in the Miscellaneous Discussion section of the forums...DID NOT!

Kento hated Christmas! Almost as much as he hated HAAAX!
For what reasons he hated it, it's best you don't axe.
It could be that his intelligence attribute was too low
It could be that his friends list was just a no show
But I think that the most likely reason of all
That his health was two heart containers to small.

But,
Whatever the reason, his health or his list,
On Christmas Eve, he hated the members with a maddening twist.
Staring down from that section with an angry emote
At the warm lighted background the boards would tote.
For he knew every member in other sections about
Were busy now, in their Christmas runabout.

"And they're emptying their inventory!" he growled with lament.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! The forum is ready for the event!"
Then he angry faced, with his hand stroking his chin,
"I will find a way to keep Christmas from coming again!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the members sleeping
Would log in bright and early. They'd rush for their bling!
And then! Oh, the flashing! Oh, the shine! Shine! Shine! Shine!
That's one thing he hated! The Shine! Shine! Shine! Shine!

Then the members,admins and mods, would log onto the chat.
And they'd chat! And they'd chat!
And they'd CHAT! CHAT! CHAT! CHAT!
They would start on listing presents, and talking up a storm
Which was something Kento couldn't stand, much like the Sandworm!

And THEN
They'd do something he liked even less then the Nether!
Every member on Applecraft, the admins and other,
Would all get together, with Christmas vids playing.
They'd start chatting in unison. And the members would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more Kento thought of the whole Christmas cheer
The more Kento thought, "I must prevent it this year!
"Why for many years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
KENTO
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" Kento said in his menace.
And he made a quick Santa Claus Minecraft skin.
And he chuckled, and said, "What a great destructive trick!
"With this skin here on Minecraft, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer..."
Kento looked around.
But since there were only cows and sheep, there were none to be found.
Did that stop Kento...?
No! Kento simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his wolf Slick. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.

THEN
He loaded chests
And put down some mine tracks quick
Then boarded the mine cart
And he hitched up old Slick.

this guy here is a hero to applecraft

no, not because he ruined christmas
because he made this awesome story

I award thee the Applecraft Award of Literacy

it means you can write